HOW TO LOVE OTHER PEOPLE - plain text version, July 6, 2013
by Rev. Bill McGinnis
Pastor of wwww.InternetChurchOfChrist.org
and Director of www.LoveAllPeople.org
This document is in the Public Domain. You may use it any way you choose.
It is stored online in this same form at
http://www.loveallpeople.org/howtoloveotherpeople.txt
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How To Love Other People / How To Love Others
Practical Methods For Increasing And Expressing Your Love For Other People
http://www.howtoloveotherpeople.com - Revised May 4, 2012
http://www.loveallpeople.org/howtoloveotherpeople.html
By Rev. Bill McGinnis, Pastor - http://InternetChurchOfChrist.org
Director - http://LoveAllPeople.org NOTE: This publication is available
for download as a one-page eBooklet at =>
http://www.loveallpeople.org/ebooklets/howtoloveotherpeople.exe
For more information about our eBooklets, please visit =>
http://www.eBooklets.net
FIRST: YOU HAVE GOD'S AUTHORIZATION TO LOVE EVERYBODY!
Men, women, children, saints, sinners, rich, poor,
black-white-yellow-green, old, young, beautiful, ugly, friends, enemies:
you have God's permission to love EVERYBODY in the entire world.
You don't need to be shy. You are authorized by God to love all people,
whomever they may be.
"For all the law is fulfilled in one word,
even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour
as thyself." (Galatians 5:14 KJV)
"This is my commandment, That ye love one another,
as I have loved you." (John 15:12 KJV)
And the Bible says that EVERYONE IS YOUR NEIGHBOR!
http://www.loveallpeople.org/pearl-everyoneisyourneighbor.html
The Lord wants us to love others as we love ourselves and as He has loved
us. But how exactly do we do this?
The basic way is this: "TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED."
This this is the Golden Rule, God's guideline for all mankind.
http://www.loveallpeople.org/golden.html
Our love begins within our heart, from the Holy Spirit within us. Then it
flows outward, towards others. But sometimes we have difficulty knowing
how to express this love and give it to others.
This ministry provides practical techniques and methods for giving your
love to other people.
The advertising above is served automatically by Google and may be
theologically incorrect.
INTRODUCTION - First thoughts from 1998
"I hope this little book leads you to experience the total
joy that comes only through loving other people."
=> Introduction - http://www.loveallpeople.org/loveintro.html
THE SCRIPTURAL MANDATE TO LOVE OTHER PEOPLE
"Love All People As Yourself."
The Bible states it very clearly, so there can be no possible
misunderstanding: the Law Of Love fulfills the whole Law of God.
THE LAW OF LOVE
_____________________________________________________________
For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, "You shall love your
neighbor as yourself." (Galatians 5:14 RSV)
_____________________________________________________________
And who is your neighbor? Everyone is your neighbor. This is shown in the
Parable Of The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37, shown below). Therefore,
"Love your neighbor as yourself" really means "Love all people as
yourself," because everyone is our neighbor.
But what about love for God? Doesn't that come first? Yes, but God counts
our love for others as if it were love for Himself. So when we love
others, we are loving Him at the same time. This is shown in the Parable
Of The Sheep And The Goats (Matthew 25:31-46, in the Appendix below). And
we cannot claim to love God until we first love our fellow man.
_____________________________________________________________
If any one says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a
liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen,
cannot love God whom he has not seen. (1 John 4:20 RSV)
_____________________________________________________________
But what about The Ten Commandments? Aren't we supposed to obey them? Yes,
but The Ten Commandments are only an approximation of what God wants from
us. The Pharisees obeyed all of the Ten Commandments, yet God was very
displeased with them because they did not have love. The exact thing God
wants from us is that we should love our neighbor as we love ourselves.
Everything else depends on this.
But what about holiness? Aren't we supposed to avoid improper sex, etc.
and be pure and chaste? Aren't we supposed to deny our physical selves in
order to strengthen our spiritual selves? Maybe so, but our feeble
attempts at being holy do not even come close to God's high standards. To
Him, they are like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). But if we have love for
others, God will overlook a multitude of our sins (1 Peter 4:8). And if we
forgive others of their offenses against us, He will forgive us of our
offenses against Him (Matthew 5:14-15). Love makes everything holy, since
God is love (1 John 4:8, 4:16).
So all of God's requirements for mankind boil down to this one command:
"YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." If you truly do this one thing
only, it is enough. It then doesn't matter if you fall short on some of
the dozens of others. But if you do not do this, all of the others
together are not enough. This is the big one, more important than all the
others combined.
_____________________________________________________________
If you really fulfil the royal law, according to the scripture,
"You shall love your neighbor as yourself," you do well.
(James 2:8 RSV)
_____________________________________________________________
=> God's Only Law Is Love -
http://www.loveallpeople.org/pearl-godsonlylaw.html
=> We Must Love One Another -
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/wemustloveoneanother.html
TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED
The best way to express your love for other people is to always follow The
Golden Rule, "Treat Others As You Would Like To Be Treated."
http://www.loveallpeople.org/golden.html
THERE IS ONE UNDERLYING RULE FOR RIGHT AND WRONG BEHAVIOR:
"TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED."
This rule is known as "The Golden Rule." Some version of it is found in
most religions, yet it establishes no particular religion; it leads to
harmony among all people; it is the foundation of Democracy; and it leads
to the political goal of "Greatest Good For The Greatest Number, With
Basic Rights For All."
To apply the Golden Rule, simply ask yourself "How would you like to be
treated in the same situation?" Then treat the other person that way. TWO
NOTES:(1) When we say, "Treat others as you would like to be treated,"
this includes all other people, not merely those who happen to be with us
at the moment. So we must also consider the impact of our actions on all
other people, not only those immediately before us. (2) When we say "in
the same situation," this means that our roles and personalities must be
mentally reversed, so that we see the situation from the other person's
point of view, trying to understand his needs and desires as if they were
our own. Also, we need to apply the "Rational Man" standard,
long-established in Law. The Golden Rule does not require us to grant
irrational requests made by insane persons.
If you need further help in applying the Golden Rule to your particular
situation, please visit
Golden Rule Solutions. -
http://www.loveallpeople.org/goldenrulesolutions.html
http://www.loveallpeople.org/golden.html
LEARN HOW TO ENJOY OTHER PEOPLE
The common experience of mankind is that if you enjoy someone, it is easy
to love them; but if you do not enjoy them, then it is hard to love them.
So we see that enjoying other people is a big part of loving them.
It is difficult to love other people if we do not enjoy them.
=> We Must Love One Another -
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/wemustloveoneanother.html
=> How To Enjoy Other People -
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/howtoenjoyotherpeople.html
How To Enjoy Other people
Here are four things to do, which will help you enjoy other people . . .
1. First, set your mind on doing it. Recognize that God wants you to enjoy
other people, not only because He wants you to be able to love them, but
also because He loves you and wants you to have more enjoyment for
yourself! So you have God's complete permission to enjoy other people,
maybe far more than you ever imagined.
2. For every person you encounter, try to find at least one thing about
them which you enjoy. Examples: beautiful face, sweet smile, pretty eyes,
sweet voice, pleasant mannerisms, graceful movements, nice hair,
intelligence, ability with words, ability to fix things, creative
personality, good personality, comforting presence, generosity, ability to
solve problems, personal leadership skills, good sense of style,
attractive body parts, good attitude with children, helpful personality,
good intentions, nice smell, attractive clothing, good attitude with other
people, sincerity, honesty, etc. If you find more enjoyable things about
them, go ahead and list them in your mind.
3. For each thing you enjoy about that person (above), please think of a
complete sentence which expresses your thought. For instance, "I enjoy
watching her smile," or "I enjoy the pleasing sound of his voice." Then
say that sentence out loud, to yourself. Or better yet, tell it to someone
else.
4. If there are things you do not enjoy about that person, do not express
those thoughts in words, because that would make you think about them even
more. But instead, think to yourself one of the following explanations:
"Maybe they can't help it." or
"Maybe they have their own good reasons for being that way." or
"Maybe they don't realize what they are doing."
In other words, give them a good excuse for whatever it is that you do not
enjoy.
If you will do these things, you will be well on your way to developing
your love for others, as well as increasing your own personal enjoyment in
your life.
UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TOLERANCE AND APPROVAL
In our culture today, there are certain controversial actions which we may
be able to tolerate but may never fully approve of. Among these
controversial actions are: unrestricted sex among consenting adults,
including homosexual acts, adultery, and prostitution; abortion; same-sex
civil unions and/or marriage; and rights to die, including suicide and
mercy killing.
Without going into the merits of these issues at this time, we can
nevertheless recognize the important differences between Tolerance and
Approval.
"Tolerance" is allowing something to exist without actively opposing it,
even though we do not like it very much and we do not think it is a good
thing. "Approval" is helping something to exist because we do like it and
we do think it is a good thing.
Thus it is easier for us to tolerate something than it is to approve of
it. (Please see our conceptual model for this idea at
http://www.loveallpeople.org/tolerancevsapproval.html)
Here are two easy examples from everyday life, which illustrate the
difference between Tolerance and Approval.
We tolerate babies crying in public, because it is in their nature to cry
sometimes, and what can we really do to stop it? But we do not approve of
babies crying in public. Their mothers should try to keep them as quiet as
possible, so as not to annoy other people and not to interfere with other
people's rights of "quiet enjoyment."
Traffic police frequently tolerate driving speeds of five or ten miles per
hour above the posted limits on major highways. They cannot actually
approve of driving faster than the speed limits, because they are required
to enforce the law, and the law sets the speed limits. But they can simply
not enforce the minor infractions.
To love other people, we must sometimes tolerate some of their behaviors
which we cannot approve of.
In these cases, it it may be helpful to give them the benefit of these
three time-tested excuses . . .
"Maybe they can't help it." or
"Maybe they have their own good reasons for being that way." or
"Maybe they don't realize what they are doing."
In other words, give them a good excuse for doing whatever it is that you
do not approve of, but need to tolerate.
If you will do these things, you will be well on your way to developing
your love for others, as well as increasing your own personal enjoyment in
your life.
###
=> The Difference Between Tolerance And Approval -
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/
differencebetweentoleranceandapproval.html
INCREASE YOUR LOVE FOR OTHERS BY DOING GOOD TO THEM
It is a happy fact of human nature, that we increase our love for others
by doing good to them. The more good we do to other people, the more our
love for them increases. Try it for yourself, and you will see.
IF WE LOVE, WE MUST FORGIVE
If we love them, we must forgive them. Just as God loves us and has
forgiven us, we must also forgive them. If we will not forgive others, God
will not forgive us! Simple as that. People who claim to be Christians but
who will not forgive are merely deceiving themselves.
A METHOD OF GRANTING FORGIVENESS
But you may say, "I know I should forgive them, but it is very hard to do.
How can I do it? What should I do?"
Here is a good way to go about granting your forgiveness to others.
First, let me pray for you, to help you grant your forgiveness.
"As You Forgive, So Shall You Be Forgiven"
I pray that you will learn this teaching well,
I pray that you engrave it on your heart.
The Lord has spoken clearly as can be:
"As you forgive, so shall you be forgiven."
* * *
So if someone has done you wrong, forgive!
And if somebody steals from you, forgive!
And if they lie and laugh at you, forgive!
And if they beat you half to death, forgive!
* * *
So when the day of judgment comes for you,
And He reviews the life that you have led,
I pray the record shows that you forgave,
So He can say, "I likewise do forgive."
* *
In Jesus' name I pray for you, Amen.
by Rev.Bill McGinnis, Public Domain
Next, you make a list of everyone you can think of who has ever done you
wrong or aroused anger in you. Call this your "Forgiveness List." On this
list, write down the name of each offender, and a brief description of the
thing(s) he did bad to you.
Then, say this prayer, asking the Lord to help you.
THIS PRAYER IS FOR YOU, YOURSELF, TO PRAY
"To Grant Your Forgiveness"
NOTE: This is a prayer for you to grant your forgiveness
to everyone who has hurt you or has aroused the emotion of
anger in you. You need to make a list of these people,
complete to the best of your ability. If you don't know a
particular name, you may merely describe the situation, like
"The man who ran my car off the road last year, then drove
away." As you are praying, you refer to this "forgiveness
list." You may repeat this prayer whenever you need to.
As a Christian, you never want to hold a grudge against
anyone very long.
* * *
O Lord, I raise my humble prayer to you,
That you might soothe my soul and grant me peace,
For I have burned in anger, raged in wrath.
I have a list where I have written down
The names of those I want now to forgive.
So Lord, I now declare that I forgive
The people who are listed here today.
For every wrong that they have done to me,
I do forgive and blot out of my heart.
For any anger they aroused in me,
I do forgive them, each and every one.
And any others, not upon this list,
I also do forgive them, every one.
I do sincerely promise this to you.
And as I now forgive those listed here,
I pray that you will likewise grant to me,
Complete forgiveness for my many sins.
In Jesus' name I pray to you, Amen.
by Bill McGinnis, Public Domain
Finally, go down the list of people, one-by-one. Deliberately forgive each
person, saying, "In the name of Jesus, I forgive you." Then write beside
each name the words, "I forgive you," and scratch out the name and the
offense(s).
If necessary in the future, make additional forgiveness lists, and repeat
this procedure.
=> How To Forgive Other People -
http://www.loveallpeople.org/pearl-howtoforgiveotherpeople.html
JESUS ENABLES US TO LOVE OTHERS AS OURSELF
By our own flawed human nature, it is almost impossible to love others as
we love ourself. Maybe some few people can do it, but most people cannot
even come close. But when we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord, His Holy
Spirit enters us and dwells within us, transforming our flawed nature into
a more perfect nature, more like His own.
=> Jesus Enables Us To Love Others As Ourself -
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/pearl-jesusenables.html
THE TWENTY-ONE GREATEST IDEAS IN HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS
Love is the true basis of all proper human relationships. And these are
some of the best ways to express love to others. => The Twenty-One
Greatest Ideas In Human Relationships -
http://www.loveallpeople.org/the21.html
1. "LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." - 2. FORGIVE THE OTHER PERSON. - 3.
TREAT THE OTHER PERSON THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED. - 4. SMILE
AND BE FRIENDLY. - 5. BE COURTEOUS. - 6. BE TRUTHFUL, WITHOUT GIVING
OFFENSE - 7. REMEMBER THE OTHER PERSON'S NAME, AND USE IT FREQUENTLY. - 8.
DON'T ARGUE. - 9. FIND AREAS OF AGREEMENT. - 10. DON'T CRITICIZE. - 11.
SHOW HONEST APPRECIATION. - 12. TRY TO SEE THE OTHER PERSON'S POINT OF
VIEW. - 13. GIVE YOUR FULL ATTENTION TO THE OTHER PERSON WHEN HE IS
TALKING. - 14. TALK ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON'S INTERESTS. - 15. ADMIT YOU
MAY BE WRONG. - 16. LET THE OTHER PERSON DO MOST OF THE TALKING. - 17. LET
THE OTHER PERSON TALK ABOUT HIMSELF. - 18. LET THE OTHER PERSON TAKE SOME
CREDIT. - 19. LET THE OTHER PERSON SAVE FACE. - 20. HOLD THE OTHER PERSON,
AND YOURSELF, TO HIGH AND NOBLE STANDARDS. - 21. GO THE EXTRA MILE. -
Details here => http://www.loveallpeople.org/the21.html -
http://www.loveallpeople.org/the21.html
The same twenty-one ideas are taught in a Computer-Assisted Instruction
(CAI) computer program I wrote a few years ago. It is not very high-tech
by today's standards, but it works. Please disregard the copyright notices
in this computer program. It is now Public Domain. => The Twenty-One
Greatest Ideas In Human Relations (Computer Program in a .zip File) -
http://www.patriot.net/users/bmcgin/21idea31.zip
NOTE: In order to run this computer program in Windows, you need to SAVE
the .zip file into the folder of your choice, then extract the files and
run the program. If you simply try to run the program directly from the
Internet, it will not work.
HOW TO LOVE STRANGERS
It is easy to love those who already know you and love you. So here is the
way to love strangers.
First, Give Them What They Ask For - unless you have a good reason not to
do so.
Next, Give Them What They Really Want - as best you can determine it.
Finally, Give Them What They Clearly Need - but do not assume too much.
Always Follow The Law Of Love And The Golden Rule ("Love your neighbor as
yourself," and "Treat others as you would like to be treated."
Details at => http://www.loveallpeople.org/pearl-howtolovestrangers.html
HOW TO CULTIVATE COMPASSION IN YOUR LIFE
A Christian Method And A Non-Christian Method
=> http://www.loveallpeople.org/howtocompassion.html
GIFTS TO GIVE TO OTHERS
The Gift Of Being Understood -
"Clearly State The Way You Think The Other Person Feels"
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/clearlystate.html
The Gift Of Being Forgiven -
"How To Forgive Other People"
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/pearl-howtoforgiveotherpeople.html
The Gift Of Your Blessing -
"How To Give Your Blessings To Other People"
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/giveyourblessings.html
When we pray for someone, the conversation is between us and the Lord.
When we give our blessings, however, the conversation is between us and
the other person directly, with the Lord listening in, observing.
A blessing is the opposite of a curse. As Christians, we almost never want
to curse anybody for anything. In contrast, we should dispense our
blessings freely, whenever the Spirit leads us to do so.
There are two proven formats for giving a blessing to other people. You
can give it directly to them, using the word "May," followed by whatever
good things you want them to receive. Or you can invoke the Lord's help,
using the words "May the Lord," followed by whatever good things you want
Him to give them. Here are examples . . .
Examples Of Direct Blessings
"May you have a safe trip home, with no difficulties of any kind."
"May your days be filled with joy."
"May your pain subside and your illness go away."
"May you get the job you are trying to obtain."
"May your grief pass by like a cloud, and may peace return to your heart."
"May your heart be filled with joy at this moment of happiness for you."
Examples Of Blessings Which Invoke The Lord's Help
"May the Lord richly bless you as you continue your work in His behalf."
"May the Lord give you a safe trip home, with no problems of any kind."
"May the Lord wipe away your tears and give you peace of mind."
"May the Lord bring love and harmony into your home."
* * *
So don't be shy. Just go ahead and start blessing people, as the Spirit
leads. When Holy Spirit prompts you to give a blessing, do it! Just walk
right up to the other person, maybe shake their hand or touch them, look
them in the eye, and pronounce your blessing on them.
They will recognize immediatly that this is a major expression of love,
and they will *always* appreciate it.
Be sure to give Christ the glory by identifying yourself as a Christian.
The Lord *loves* to use imperfect vessels for His work, so don't feel
unworthy if you are less than a "perfect" Christian. You are *always*
authorized to dispense love to other people: ALWAYS!
The Gift Of A Hand Massage -
"How To Give A Hand Massage"
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/handmassage.html
Ten Other Gifts To Give -
The gift of listening - The gift of signs of affection - The gift of a
note - The gift of laughter - The gift of compliment - The gift of a favor
- The gift of leaving alone - The gift of a cheerful disposition - The
gift of a game - The gift of prayer.
- Author unknown - Sent to me by William W. Waggener III,
wwagener@earthlink.net
Details at => => http://www.loveallpeople.org/giftstogive.html
YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OWN PERSONAL MINISTRIES OF CHRISTIAN LOVE
As an individual Christian, you can take on these personal ministries, as
the Lord leads you.
=> Cellular Phone Ministry -
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/min-cell.html
=> CPR/First-Aid Ministry -
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/min-cpr.html
=> Automotive Helper Ministry -
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/min-autobreak.html
=> Deliverance Ministry - (casting out unclean spirits in the name of
Jesus Christ.) - http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/deliverance.html
=> Hand Massage Ministry -
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/min-handmassage.html
See more about Personal Ministries at our website at =>
http://www.loveallpeople.org/mypersonalministries.html
PRAY FOR PEOPLE, EVEN THOSE WHO MAY HATE YOU AND WISH YOU HARM
"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good
to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and
persecute you;" - Jesus speaking, Matthew 5:44
Here's an example you can follow (from 1998). Clearly the USA did not
follow this example.
=> A Christian Prayer For Saddam Hussein -
http://www.patriot.net/users/bmcgin/sad.txt
CHRISTIAN VOLUNTEER NETWORK
You can become an active Christian Volunteer. => Christian Volunteer
Network - http://www.loveallpeople.org/cvn.html
TECHNIQUES OF CHRISTIAN LOVE FOR SPECIFIC SITUATIONS
When the other person is frustrated and upset, but there is really very
little you can do to help directly, try this . . .
=> Clearly State The Way You Think He Feels -
http://www.loveallpeople.org/clearlystate.html
When the other person is very happy or very sad, we can participate with
him, by . . .
=> Giving Poems And Prayers - http://www.loveallpeople.org/sendapoem.html
As Christians, we are called to share and participate in the happiness and
the sadness of others.
"Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep
with them that weep." (Romans 12:15 KJV)
One very good way to do this is to find suitable poems and prayers, then
give them to the other person.
It would actually be a good idea for every Christian to start a collection
of poems and prayers to use in such occasions. (Maybe even write some
yourself, if He leads you to do this.)
I maintain Public Domain collections of poems and prayers which you are
free to use. The poems are kept at
http://patriot.net/users/bmcgin/poems.html, and the prayers are kept at
http://patriot.net/users/bmcgin/prayer4you.html.
PLEASE DISREGARD ANY COPYRIGHT NOTICES YOU FIND AT THESE LOCATIONS. ALL OF
THIS MATERIAL IS NOW IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN.
Here is a good example of a prayer/poem to send to someone who is unhappy:
"When All Seems Bleak And Dreary"
When all seems bleak and dreary in your life;
When every step is weighted down with care;
When each new day seems like the day before it;
I pray the Lord will brighten up your sky.
I pray He sends a robin to your birdbath;
I pray He brings a package to your door;
I pray you get a phone call from a loved one;
I pray the Lord, Himself, will sing to you.
wem
A BLESSING FOR YOU, THE READERS OF THIS PAGE
Lord, Please bless the readers of this page.
For today . . .
Please put the right thoughts in their mind;
Please put the right words in their mouth;
Please put the right actions in their hands and feet;
So that they may be pleasing to You,
And filled with the joy of Your Love.
In Jesus' holy name I pray, Amen.
by Rev. Bill McGinnis,
Public Domain
www.InternetChurchOfChrist.org
http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/blessingforreaders.html
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Blessings to you in Jesus Christ our Lord.
Rev. Bill McGinnis
Pastor - http://InternetChurchOfChrist.org
Director - http://LoveAllPeople.org
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